Shock to the system!

So my friend showed me his blog one day and with new-found time on my hands.. I thought I'd give it a go!

My life took a flip in September 2009. I knew it was happening, I just didnt expect it to be like this..
In August 2009; I was busy managing two jobs and a hectic social life. I worked in an office by day then at half four, I'd drive to my next job (eating my sandwiches on the way). I was a supervisor of a cinema in the evenings and at weekends.
When I did have a night off; I'd send it in the local pub or around Wigan.
I loved it!! My husband was away in the army and I was enjoying being kept busy.

Anyway, September came and I left both jobs to become a house-wife in Germany. The plan was to find a job as soon as possible or start a family.

Finding a job has become a mission. For various reasons, I have not been able to apply for anything advertised. To make matters worse my passport is being renewed & I didnt bring my car over here so travel is limited.

So starting a family was the other option... and is still ongoing. It is so frustrating its taking the fun out of anything to do with 'baby-making'. I cannot count the amount of times I have been told 'not to think about it'. Do you people realise that it's first thing that pop's into your head as soon as HE does his business?
I've been in all sorts of positions, been lying with my feet in the air, tried my best not to 'think about it' but I am still not pregnant.

It seems I'll have to adjust to this house-wife (HW) business. Yes I can cook & yes I can clean but what I didnt realise was that by resigning myself to become a HW; I give HIM freedom from all household activities. I think he's washed the dishes once since Sept & when he tries to do the clothing washing, he leaves it in the machine for days on end (until I notice!!).

So there's that that shocked me!

Then there is the whole money situation. Now, I am a very independant woman. If we went out for a meal, I'd expect to pay half if not all of the bill. For me to have 'spending money' from HIM is just not right. I cant cope.
If we run out of milk or eggs.. I have to ask for a fiver. I feel like a child - or beggar. I am sure I cannot be the only one to feel like this.. Or am I the only one who is driven mad by being a HW?

Now when we do have kids, I guess it will make my days worth while. I'll have someone other than me (& the kitty) to look after whilst he is out earning. But I am stuck in this in-between stage, this waiting game stage & it sucks.